...is what's needed for the lazy bastard programme commissioners and makers that exist in television today. Oh, it could be for many reasons, but chief among them, would have to be; "clip shows".

You know the sort of thing I'm talking about - an hour's worth of C-list (allegeded) celebrities, MTV presenters, and blokey wank mag journalists - all of whom we've neither ever heard of before, not give a toss about - spouting their facile, unthought-out and bleedin' obvious take on any aspect of life.

The other night, and I swear I'm not making this up, I switched the television on, to find such a show being broadcast, wherein these brainless dolts (with not an original thought between them) were rambling on about airline cabin crew. Not so much "The Blind Leading The Blind", as a show about the "Gormless Leading The Bimbonic"

Jenny Eclair, if you're reading this, I remember you when you were an up and coming alternative comedian, with a bitingly sarcastic female edge to your comedy. Nowadays all I ever see you on, are this stupid clip shows, droning on about whatever nonsense they've told you to whitter about, with the same haircut-n-glasses combination you had in the late eighties. What the hell went wrong Jenny?

1992 called. They want their jokes back.

But far worse than Jenny, is the vast army of wannabe pundits (average age seems to be about 23, which obviously makes them a world-authority on life), who seem to crop up time after time on these shows, on the basis that they either write for a lad-mag, present some bimbonic TV shite for 12 year-olds on MTV, or have shagged some footballer/rock musician and sold the pics to Hello magazine. That, or they're Peaches Geldof (no, I have no explanation for her, either, but then again, when your parents christen you Peaches, what do you expect?).

My point though (yes, I do have a point in all this ranting), is that this kind of programming is a total cop-out, almost as bad as "reality TV" (ironically named, given the way people act on it). For the most part, the commentators are non-entities, and their opinions are of little interest or importance, or indeed, all that witty or educational, and increasingly, the subject matter doesn't need covering, especially in an hour's worth of television.

Why broadcasters don't up their game a bit I don't know. Ask these bimbos about important world issues (thus exposing the fact that kids shouldn't idolise people who know so little of the world around them), or alternatively, get a bunch of intellectuals to discuss important issues of the Hello Generation.

Of course, one other, crazy idea, for the TV companies...invest some of that vast mountain of advertising revenue in some real, original, and intelligent programming, instead of lining the pockets of your shareholders.

Yeah, crazy I know. Perhaps they should make a clip show about it? Come on Jenny, tell us more kerrazy tales of tampon adverts ... zzzzzzzz

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So I've been having minor computer woes.

Specifically, after running Software Update, and letting it install a security update, I now get no audio in WMV, RM, MPG or SWF files. The latter is the biggest pisser of all, because of my profession. I'm working with audio in Flash movies on an almost daily basis.

Of course the obvious thing to do, is troubleshoot it yourself, then search the Internet, because "hey, someone else is bound to have had this problem, right?" Wrong!

Well dear readers, after exactly two weeks of unemployment, it would appear I have secured a new job. This time it's permanent.

At this point, I'm not mentioning the who, what, where and when of it all, but out of this brief period of uncertainty, I have emerged, not only with a new job, but one that actually raises my career to a new level - management. That at least was the implication during the third (yes third) interview this week.

I'm not due for a trip to the hairdressers for a pointy-haired hairdo quite yet, as it's not a job managing people, but one managing web-type gubbins. Gubbins management is about my level.

Eventually, I might reveal more, but let's just see if it all works out first. I'm sure it will. I'm pretty psyched about this job, and the possibilities it offers.

I think soon, I may well rant about recruiters again. I know I did it before, but I have new material, all of it culled from this year's job search. The level of idiocy I encountered hit an all-time high. One of the exceptions was the chap who hooked me up with my new job, who was not only clue-enabled, but also went the extra mile to help seal the deal.

My last remaining week of leisure is set to be a full one, and I'm suspecting that the planned revamp of both the design and technology behind DMfM may fall victim to time constraints. We shall see.

Whilst the job hunt/negotiations with current employer continue, I'm finding things to make me laugh, or tap my feet. Today's link does both.

It's a short factual film about how girls' minds work. No really. For brevity's sake they've left out the stuff about hair, clothes and make-up, and focused on the No.1 concern:

click your heels three times and say there's no place like Russell & Bromley

Like totally.

Shock news today. My manager called me into a meeting room to tell me, that I've done such a good job of relaunching the company's web services, that they now want to take that new direction, and run with it over a series of local websites. This of course means the whole web strategy is up in the air, and guess what? Senior execs won't make a decision.

The upshot of this is that although they want me to stay on, they have to end my contract and start something (or nothing) over. Great. So now I'm left dangling for the next month. Will there be a job there for me? What will it be? Will I go freelancing back there? Will I have to whore my web designing elsewhere?

In theory, it'll all work out for the best. A good chance of more work there, a buoyant UK job market, and my grim determination.

Stay tuned.