As part of EID's continuing commitment to give it's readers useful and informative guidelines for life, today we're going to discuss diet and exercise.

There are a lot of quirky diets out there, high carbs/low fat, no carbohydrates, high protein, body typing etc, but we need to take a look at a revolutionary weight loss program called the M-Plan diet.

When you send away for our instructional booklet, you'll get detailed instructions, on how to live by the M-Plan. For now, however, let's give you a brief overview.

The M-Plan is a bit like the F-Plan from the 1980's, except instead of making you eat ludicrous amounts of fibre, M-Plan involves a strict regime of eating as much yummy food as you can cram into your piehole, and then doing fuck-all exercise, other than walking your dog.

Then that, combined with following a complicated routine of worrying about unemployment, fretting about US immigration, staying up way too late, and averaging 4-5 hours of sleep a night, will make the pounds will just fall off you.

User Testimonial
I have been following the M-Plan diet since January, and the results are noticeable.

I'm in my mid-thirties, and so in theory my metabolism will have slowed down considerably, compared to when I was in my early twenties. However, thanks to the M-Plan Diet my metabolism is back up there, alongside Linford Christie's.

The house has recently acquired a new set of digital weighing scales. I thought I'd give them a try. I've not weighed myself for about a year or so.

Back then I weighed 180lbs. Last night, the scales told me I weighed 171.5lbs, however this morning I realised that the feet had not been put on the scales, and so it may have been giving a false reading. It turns out that the reading was false, because after attaching the feet to the scale, I found out the grim truth. I actually weigh only 167.5lbs.`

If my wasting away continues at this rate, and I don't get any IT work by next year, I'm thinking of becoming a super-model.