WARNING: This product contains rants
In case you hadn't spotted it, at the top of this page, my name is Max. It is not Maxi, it is not Maxie, nor is it Maxo, It is short for Maxwell. It is not short for Maximillian, Maxamundo, Maxentius* or anything else.
"Oh, but we're just being friendly." some people will say. "it's just a term of affection.".
No. You are not, and it is not.
If you want to be friendly, then call me want I want to be called, Max. That is friendly. That is affectionate too, because it's considering my feelings.
You might think you're being funny, but I have some bad news for you. You're not. You're being asinine, and you sure as hell aren't being original.
And before any one person thinks this is a direct attack on them, it isn't. Sorry, you're not that special. If I have a problem with an individual, I'll let them know personally.
This is also not connected to any new domain name suggestions that I've recieved. I'm not that over-sensitive, and the more amusing ones have made me laugh or smile, with the exception of one, which played on the whole 'Maxi' thing.
The other thing that pisses me off, is people who barely know me, giving me nicknames. Excuse me? You don't know me.
I don't mind being friendly to strangers, actually that's one of the things I love about living in the US - people are so friendly to strangers - and I like that. But they don't need to be dicking around with my name.
I'm only just used to shop staff I meet, here in the US calling me Max straight away. In Britain they would never dare to be so familiar straight away. There, it's Mr Turner, once they've read the name on my credit card.
I have one nickname, and that is only used by my closest friends, and no, you don't need to know it, but I dare say you can figure it out.
None of my girlfriends have given me pet names. They have more sense than to try and do such a thing. If you're dating me, you need to be OK about calling me Max.
Mind you, if you're dating me, that's the least of your worries.
Footnotes
*There is a St Maxentius apparenlty. A cousin of mine got married in a church named after him.
