from Department S.

I don't like, nor do I think it's fair, to single out individual readers. However, there is one regular EID reader who intrigues me.

As you may or may not already know, I have all sorts of technical gubbins, hidden in the bowels of the EID website, that monitor traffic. And before those so-called witty bastards amongst you make the obvious joke, no, it doesn't tell me when there's a tailback on I25**.

It tells me all sorts of interesting stuff about who's visiting the site. For example, 33.6% of my readers are using the mouse with their left hand. Spooked yet?

Talking of being spooked, this leads me, in an almost seemless segway, to the point of this posting.

One of my regulars, is operating from the .gov.uk domain. For their, and Her Majesty's, privacy, that's as much of the domain name as I'm giving!

For some months now, I've been wondering which part of the H.M Government is monitoring my site. Chances are, it's someone at work, reading it for their own sake, and thus robbing poor British taxpayers of several valuable seconds of their tax money. It might even be a certain friend of mine, who I know works in a government department, but who I'm pretty sure doesn't know I even have a website.

If it's not personal reading that's going on, then this rather begs the questions, who's watching me, and why?

Given that I'm not a member of any political or special interest groups, either here in the US, or back in the UK, I can't see how I'd be target for monitoring. Of course, living with an Irishwoman in the past few years, might have put Special Branch on my tail***

I've not searched the EID archives, but I don't remember ever publishing anything inflammatory about the UK government. Lord knows they provide enough material for potential rants by me, but I'm not sure I've ever really gone off on one about them.

I've mentioned before that I get some sad muppets coming to the site, having used Google to search for porn^† and ending up on my site, because Google has found all the matching words in their bizarre search string, scattered around my site. It's possible that the same thing has happened here, in a governmental search, fooling the servants of the state.

OK, so I think we have enough keywords buried in the text of this article, that if the UK authorities weren't monitoring me already, they'll soon see me listed in their web alert service.

So, what do I want? What I'd love is a comment, or an email, from the person concerned, just to let me know what the deal is. If Special Branch, MI5 or whoever, are monitoring me, that's fine, I hope they're having a fun read, but I wouldn't mind knowing why?

If it's not official business, drop me a line from home, and put my mind at rest.

If you need someone to infiltrate the s, bars or bookstores of Denver, I'm your man! If there are female enemy agents at DU^†† or in Washington Park, I'm prepared to make the penultimate sacrifice for Queen and country, and seduce them.

But remember... I like my Guinness, settled not stirred.

Footnotes
*On Her Majesty's Secret Surfing
**There's always a tailback on I25
***Comedian Jeremy Hardy once said, "of course in Britain, you're innocent until proved Irish."
†Duh! Use the usenet newsgroups you retards. Err... I read somewhere... err... apparently.
††Denver University and it's surrounding environs.