or

World's Wildest Police Haircuts - Part 2

He's a hairdresser's worst
nightmare

This is going to start sounding like I'm a fan of the bouffant law enforcer, and in a twisted, ironic, post-modern way, I kinda am.

If you read my article, back in January, about The World's Wildest Police Videos, you'll by now be familiar with the intrepid Sheriff John Bunnell (pronounced Buh-nell, not rhyming with funnel, like you'd expect).

A Rapper's Worst Nightmare
In the search for a picture of our glow-in-the-dark-toothed wonder, I came across the following, which makes for an ironic turn of events, considering Ice-T's imfamous Cop Killer track:

" said he recently recorded audio for an interactive computer game, playing the "good guy." Across the from him was the "bad guy"--sometimes police-critical rapper Iced T. Bunnell said over three days he grew to like the rapper, who even offered to donate his recording pay to 's favorite law enforcement charity-- Bunnell accepted."

I can see a musical future for Bunnell. Ice-T rapping away, and Mr B providing all his hackneyed catchphrases as sound-bite samples.

Ice-T: Aah yeah!
Mr B.: "It's a policeman's worst nightmare!"
drum break
Ice-T: Aah yeah! Break it down!
Mr B.: "No! Let's SHUT HIM DOWN!",

A Webmaster's Worst Nightmare
In an even scarier discovery, there's a Sheriff John Bunnell fan site! I'd be remiss if I didn't give you a link. Check out the teeth in the background image.

Meanwhile, appearing for the Prosecution, is this superb little rant against him.

A Script Editor's Worst Nightmare
You see, it's the script of the show that's captivating. Partly because of its sheer awfulness, with its horrendously corny phrasing, and blatant pro-police stance (no matter what totalitarian state they're showing film from), and partly because it's just plain (unintentionally) funny.

I don't know if he writes the scripts himself, or gets David Coleman* to write it, but he's blurted out some real gems, without a trace of irony.

For example, tonight's show featured footage of some cop stopping two guys in a pickup, the driver of which ended up running off on foot. Help was at hand however, in the form of pizza delivery guy in his car. He saw what was going on, turned his car around and did a hand-brake turn in front of the fleeing fugitive, causing him to run into the car.

Bunnell's comment, "Years of delivering pizzas have trained him to drive like this."

It was as if he was talking about pursuit trained police officers. What else does he think they train them for at Domino's? Hand-to-hand combat with the complimentary breadsticks? Perhaps they arm their delivery men with rigid, razor-edged spare pizzas, for decapitating suspects å la Oddjob of Bond Movie fame?

Oh well, back to reality I suppose... oh wait a minute... this kind of TV is reality! Gulp!

I think I'll just order a chinese.

Evenin' all. Mind how you go.

Footnote:
*David Coleman is a British sportscaster, famous for his unintentionally funny and surreal comments.