Dear Miles,

Clearly you did not check your mail in the early hours of this morning. I know this because if you had, you'd have read my earlier memo about the "Barking in the dead of night for no sodding reason whatsoever".

It's obvious that you didn't read the first memo, because of that fact that you recommenced your canine catawalling at 7 o'clock in the fucking a.m. - a mere 3.5 hours after I had finally got back to sleep after your last performance.

Until last night, your record had been fairly spotless. You're not a barky dog by reputation, and I hope that last night was just a blip on an otherwise unblemished record.

Incidentally, you have yet to make it clear, just what your motivation was for these two performances.