from the Benevolent Dictatorship Dept.
When my totalitarian regime sweeps into power, there will be a lot of new laws passed.
Among them will be a new traffic offence called, "Failure To Get A Fucking Move On".
Motorists will be found guilty of it when they do any of the following:
1. Fail to notice that a traffic light, by which they're waiting, has turned green.
2. Miss their go at a four-way stop (US) or roundabout (UK)
3. Pull out of a side road, in front of another motorist, and not immediately accelerate to match the speed of the rest of the traffic on the major road.
4. Slow their vehicle to almost a complete stop, and/or take too long turning off a major road onto a minor one, causing other motorists behind them to have to brake and/or stop.
5. Slow their vehicle when approaching a junction with a green traffic light, where visibility is adequate.
6. Take too long changing lanes, leaving everyone behind them wondering just which lane the offender is actually in.
The punishment for this offence will involve them having to pay for special equipment to be fitted to their car. This equipment will be remotely activated by other drivers, and consist of a mechanised hand, which will dope-slap them across the back of the head, should they fail to get a fucking move on.
Posted by Max at March 24, 2003 03:12 AM | TrackbackYou know your problem? You're just too benevolent...
Posted by: John in Brizzle on March 24, 2003 03:19 AMIn all fairness, I've always found US drivers to be really courteous and stressless. In other parts of the world it's often less laid back... See for instance :
1- In southern italia they horn as soon as the opposite lights has turned red. You're supposed to wait with first gear engaged, foot on the clutch, ready to goooo.
2- First time I drove in the US was in SF, a long time ago. It took me quite some time to figure out that people always let me pass on 4-way stops, as I never lifted off...(hey, they stop, I go !) we don't have such things in Paris you know, and for a good reason... It would be a bloodbath.
No, frankly, it's really relaxing to drive here. The only annoying thing for a euro-driver is this habbit of never pulling right on the freeway and to drive at slow speed on the left lane.
tee hee, max! can i be your evil underlord/enforcer? i've already mastered the art of screaming, "come ooooonnnnnn!!!!" from behind the wheel and am ready for the next step.
Posted by: melanie on March 24, 2003 11:25 AMPhillippe,
Many people believe that almost everywhere in the world is less stressful to drive in than Paris. Even London ;)
I like driving in Paris and London. It's always seemed to me that drivers there are very courteous so long as you obey the golden rules: don't dither, and get a move on.
Frankly, I'd be happy to force everyone to learn to drive in Paris, as a kind of Darwinian filtering process. The related therapy costs would probably be prohibitive though :(
Posted by: John in Brizzle on March 28, 2003 04:53 AMI need to lean how to driving but I need to sign up for driving class. tell how to get in contest with them.I want to lean how to driving.
Posted by: tammy scuch on June 28, 2003 07:31 AM