Uggh. If I hear one more celebrity, or semi-famous person, say how they don't go online, or don't "know how to work the computer", I shall probably vomit (into a bag and send it to them).

First off, there's that affliction of so many people in the world, inaccurate English. It's not the computer, it's a computer. If you're clueless about one, you're likely clueless about them all.

It's the same dumbness that causes people to say "PIN number". PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, so tacking "number" on the end is redundant and dumb.

Secondly, how, in this day and age, can you not know how to use a computer? I'm sorry, but unless you live in the third world, there's really no excuse. I'm not talking about object-oriented software development, I'm talking about the everyday mundane communications tasks.

If my father, a non-techie senior citizen, can master surfing the net, sending email, writing documents, and even hooking up a digital camera, then W(hy)TF are these 30-something tossers, surrounded by technology in s every day, so helpless?

Either they're dumber than a bag of rocks, or (brace yourself for a shock revelation) they're lying, because they're doing that whole "too cool to know stuff" thing.

But it's not just celebrities who have this whole "I'm too cool to be remotely technically-minded" misconception. Everywhere you go, you meet these people who have this bizarre pride in their ignorance. It's as if they're saying, "I'm too posh, and too important to bother with such trivialities.".

In this day and age, email is as basic a communication tool as the telephone or written letters. To say, "I don't know how to do email" is tantamount to saying, "I can't operate a telephone."

I dare say some of you are thinking, "how elitist, not everyone has a computer", but I'm not talking about ownership of the technology, I'm talking about the snooty arrogance, that causes people to think they're too important to learn the fundamentals of existing in the modern world, and that such activities are for "the little people".

Can't seem to find an end to this piece, so in great tradition of Monty Python sketches, we'll just end it sans conclusion.