Ugh.

I'm commanding DMfM operations from my bed today. It's just a cold, but it's hit me hard last night, and my nose is doing an impression of a lawn sprinkler this morning.

A day of rest, and an overdose of Vitamin C, will have me back up and fighting tomorrow. The only possible side effect of too much Vitamin C, is that I'll develop a Judith Chalmers-style tan.

So, whilst I'm dealing with that, here are a couple of amusing online distractions:

Spank The Penguin
Despite its name, this isn't an eskimo porn film. You're abominable. Well, an abominable snowman, or something similar. Use your skill and judgement, to see just how far you can knock the cheery little penguin chap with your club. Animal lovers can relax, as the penguin seems to be enjoying it.

Click here to play. Thanks to DMfM Senior European Correspondent, Tim for the tip-off.

Whack-an-Oates
This isn't about Antartic explorer Captain Oates, but rather 80's popster John Oates of Hall and Oates fame.

You'll get extra points for belting guest stars such as Adam Ant, and penalised for clobbering Darryl Hall (I'm not entirely sure why that should be). Speakers/headphones are essential for the full musical experience.

Click here to play.