I did three hours on-air on Thursday night last week, despite turning up to do just one. It was all in a good cause, as we were doing the winter pledge drive.

The next night, I was booked to do one hour of on-air chit-chat, urging listeners to become members, or renew their membership. I ended up running the studio board, and because the regular host (who we'll call W) and I were having such a good time, we did an extra hour of plugging the station, and then a third hour of the two of us, co-hosting.

So anyway, a couple of minor incidents occurred.

After the first hour, all the phone answering volunteers went home, leaving just the phone supervisor (who we'll call S) who offered to stay and answer the phones for the extra hour of "pledge-rapping".

W and I are just chatting away about the record we've just played, when ear-piercing alarms suddenly go off. Despite the fact that we were wearing headphones, and were right up to the mics, the alarm klaxon was so loud.

Barely able to hear myself, I managed to put some music on and say, "let's have some more music, whilst we sort this out". I hit a button, which plays the same album we've just played, and I kill the mics.

They sorted out the alarm, which had recently been "improved", and I faded the record, come back with, "...and that was the Wayne Shorter Quartet, with lead horn played by Brinks Security." I then explain to the listeners what was going on, and that we were all safe.

It turned out S had pushed the wrong door, and set it off.

I then urge listeners to call in:

a) with a pledge
b) to give S a really hard time about setting the alarm off.

I wish we'd been taping that, because I'd love to hear how it all sounded over the airwaves

I did tell listeners that it was a testament to our professionalism that neither of us swore, such was the loudness of the sirens (about 10 times louder than the previous system)

So we got over that and carried on.

Incident 2

At about 11.35pm, someone arrived at the front door of the building, wanting to come in.

Unable to figure out how to operate the intercom phone to talk to the guy, I let him in the first (of three) security doors, unseen. The first camera is able to see people once they're inside the first door. The second security door is, it turns out, unlocked. Deep joy.

The guy is about 6'5", dark features, and moving with a purpose. Before we know it, he's at the third door, upstairs, impatiently pressing the buzzer.

W figures out how to talk to him via the intercom, without letting him in. His story, is that he's a friend of the guy (we'll call K) who's on-air at midnight, and he just got robbed and has no money, and needs $20 to get home. Yeah, I'm thinking, that Light Rail is so expensive (actually, it's a wonder it isn't more expensive, given the number of people it's (allegedly) killed).

W and I talk about it, and decide he can wait in the lobby, until K arrives. So, W goes to tell him this, presses the WRONG button, and lets the creep into the station

Let's just say, that given our location (Five-Points, at close to midnight), W had some concerns about this, so I tell her to go lock the studio door. The guy comes around and is looking for people. It ends up with him banging on the sound-proof glass of the studio's internal windows, á la Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate, and asking to come into the on-air studio. You can imagine what we thought of that idea. We tell him he can't come in, as we're on-air. We tell him to go sit down and wait for K, so he does, and seems quite placid

The really tricky bit during all this, was W and I making sure we sounded just fine, and not at all concerned for our safety, whilst we're talking on-air.

Eventually, true to form, K arrives at 0.0000024 seconds to midnight. I'm already covering for him not being ready to start his show at midnight, with a tasty slice of Tony Monaco (very funky jazz organist).

Mr Creepy comes in with K, and whilst turning out not to be the axe-weilding mass murderer, we may have considered him being, is nonetheless, a bit creepy. He continues to give us his sob-story.

W and I tidy up after our show and go do all the post pledge paperwork.
Creepy Guy spends the time hanging around us, asking if WE can spare $20 to help him. We state that we can't.

He starts asking for a ride home, where his grandmother can give us a cheque for $25 for our trouble. Again we decline.

Anyway, we end up going back to the on-air studio to tell K he has to deal with his friend,. K says "just ignore him, but DON'T give him a lift, or money. W and I discuss our exit plan, and it turns out the guy had snuck up behind us, and was listening in just around the corner. He makes some comment about "you don't have to whisper about me".

So we just inform him, as politely as possible, that whilst we're sure he's a deeply lovely human being, we'd both feel less creeped out, giving Dick Cheney a lift home, than taking him across town.

We exit the station briskly, only to be assailed on the way out by a middle-aged white guy, surrounded by security guards, clutching his chest,, and asking for $20 to help his vast oil-related corporation. Needless to say, we declined to give him a lift home too.