I've been meaning to write for ages now. I've several things to tell you about. The first involves an incident that occurred a week ago.

I was driving back from giving what little money I have to a well-known brake repair company, when I pulled into a strip mall, to get some stuff for dinner.

There was a large number of public works vehicles, lounging around, at every turn. The drivers of which, were stood around in that way that only government employees can do. You know.. the whole job-for-life-no-matter-how-much-I-slouch posture.

I asked one of them, what was going on. I was told that the President was coming. Yes THE PRESIDENT... the same feckless tosser who conned his way into the White House four years ago.

The public works lady suggested that if I wanted to get dinner to go, I do so quickly, as at any moment, they would be getting word that Dubya was on his way, and would be blocking off every entrance and exit of the various strip malls and car dealerships along Colorado and Mississippi Avenues. I would then be unable to leave for about 20 minutes.

Sure enough, the moment I entered the store I was going to shop at, they closed every exit.

So, as I had nowhere else to go, I decided to stand on the street corner, and watch the presidential motorcade.

I'll say one thing for it, it was pretty impressive. Hmmm...make that.... foreboding.

Three motorcycle outriders and an armored SUV, then a gap, then another 12 or so, motorcycle outriders, and then more armored SUVs, populated by the sort of heavy-set government hard-men, that look like they don't actually need their guns to kill you.

Then the two limousines - identical, so you can't tell which one the pres was in unless, like me, you're stood alone on the street corner upon which he's turning,

I peered through the inches-thick bullet-proof glass. He wasn't in the first limo. That was just the dummy (is there any difference, you might ask!)

The second limo, had a grey-haired man, slouched in the back seat. Just as I was wondering if this was the "leader of the free world", he waved at me. Despite my despising him, and all the lying to the American people he's done, I found myself involuntarily waving back. No amount of politics could counteract years of well-mannered politeness (no, really).

The limos where followed by more security vehicles, all heavily armored, one of which had even heavier-set scary looking guys leaning out of the windows, assault weapons poised, ready to gun down anyone who looked like trouble... or a democrat.

So there you go. That's the less-than-glamourous story of how this Englishman met the leader of the free world.